The Long Weekend
by Jillian R
Summary: Sydney gets a few days off. So does Vaughn. They couldn't possibly spend that time together, could they? Total Fluff.
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: There isn't much plot here, only fluff. Hopefully, you like that kind of thing. I appreciate any and all reviews.  
  
Disclaimer: Sydney and Vaughn don't belong to me. I was just borrowing them for a while. Sorry, J.J.!  
  
  
  
Sydney Bristow didn't know what to do with herself as she lay in bed at 8:53 on Thursday morning. On an ordinary day, she'd already be at her desk at SD-6, but Sloane had given her Thursday and Friday off. "You've been working too hard, Sydney," he'd told her the day before. Actually, she was starting to think that *he* was working too hard. For the last few weeks, he had been looking disheveled and losing his train of thought during briefings. Just last week, she could have sworn that she saw him sitting at his desk with a drink in hand. Maybe he was having a nervous breakdown, or . . . Um, what exactly was she doing? Arvin Sloane's mental health was of no concern to her, unless it was going to help her take down SD-6 quicker. Somehow, she didn't think it would.   
  
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. SD-6. The bane of her existence. It had taken away her past and threatened to keep her from her future. For the millionth time in the last year, she cursed herself for making that phone call eight years ago. How different would her life be if she had never heard of SD-6? She rolled over on her side. Considering who her parents were, considering all the things they had done to her, maybe her life really wouldn't have been that different, after all. She sighed heavily. There was no use imagining a life without SD-6. Like it or not, this *was* her life, and it wasn't all bad. In fact, if it hadn't been for SD-6 . . . if it hadn't been for SD-6, she wouldn't know Michael Vaughn. And now that she did know him, she wasn't sure that she would trade a Vaughn-less existence for an SD-6-less existence, anyway.   
  
Sydney pushed aside the covers and stood up to stretch. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with her long weekend, but she couldn't lay in bed all day. If she did, she would just think about Vaughn, which ordinarily wasn't a bad thing. But she knew that if she thought about him now she'd want to see him, which was impossible because he was on vacation. She couldn't believe it when he told her he was going away for a week. She'd wanted to ask him, "But what about me? What if I need you? What if Sloane gives me a mission?" But before she could ask, he'd told her that another agent would be her temporary handler if something came up. "It's only for a week," he smiled. "I'm sure you can survive without me for that long. You'll probably even enjoy it." She wasn't sure if he had been trying to get a reaction from her or if he was really that clueless. Yeah, she might survive a week without him, but she damned sure wouldn't enjoy it. Sometimes the only thing that got her out of bed in the morning was the hope that she would see him at some point during the day. So far, the week had absolutely dragged without him. She wasn't too proud to admit that she missed him. Maybe she'd even tell him so when he came back.  
  
Actually, she was glad -- maybe *glad* was too strong a word -- that he had this time for himself. He deserved to relax and not have to worry about her or his other agents for at least one week. Still, there was a part of her that hoped she wasn't too far from his thoughts, because he hadn't left hers at all. She wondered where he was right now. All she knew was that he was going away with a friend, one of his college hockey teammates. He hadn't been sure what they were going to do or where they were going to go. The thought of that made Sydney giggle. Michael Vaughn, Mr. Plan-Everything-Down-to-the-Last-Detail, had no idea what he was going to be doing for the next week. Whatever it was that he had ended up doing, she just hoped he was having fun, even if it was without her.  
  
*****  
  
Michael Vaughn was packing running shoes into a duffel bag. He should have known something was going to interrupt his vacation. Well, technically, nothing was interrupting *his* vacation. But his buddy Peter had been called back to Dallas, something about filing a motion for a temporary restraining order and preliminary injunction. Suddenly, Vaughn was grateful that he had spent the summer after his second year of law school interning at the CIA rather than a law firm. When Peter got called for an emergency, it usually involved mountains of paper work and hearings; when he got called to work for an emergency, it usually involved Sydney. He smiled as he zipped Peter's bag. Sydney. He wondered what she was doing right now. Probably sitting in the SD-6 briefing room rolling her eyes at Sloane or trying not to laugh while Marshall was talking. For a moment, he felt guilty that he wouldn't be available to give her her countermission. He knew that Agent Riley was very capable, and he felt comfortable entrusting him with his other agents. But not with Sydney. He didn't trust anyone with her, sometimes not even himself. He had been so uptight about leaving Sydney in the care of another handler, even temporarily. But he didn't dare express those concerns to Devlin when he insisted that Vaughn take a week off. Devlin pointed out, in an all-too-knowing tone, that Vaughn hadn't taken a vacation since he was put in charge of Sydney's case file. It was pretty easy to read between the lines of Devlin's words, so he didn't protest even though he wanted to.  
  
Actually, he was glad to have had had this time off. Due to their busy schedules, he and Peter hadn't seen each other in at least two years. After four years as hockey teammates and three years of law school, Peter was the closest thing Michael had to a brother, and it had been like old times hanging out with him this week. *Too* much like old times, Michael thought, as he shook his head and laughed. He should have known that Peter's suggestion that they spend the week at a ski resort had nothing to do with skiing. "Snowbunnies, man," Peter laughed when Vaughn asked him the *real* reason he chose Lake Tahoe for their trip. Having grown up in France, Michael was a skilled skier; the same couldn't be said of Peter who'd spent more time on a surfboard than skis. Nevertheless, they'd had a great time on and off the slopes, although Peter had trouble understanding why Michael wasn't the flirt he used to be back in their school days.  
  
"Hey, Mike. That woman over there is staring at you."  
  
"What? No way."  
  
"Yeah, she is. She's hot. You should invite her over here."  
  
"Nah, I don't think so. She's . . . not my type."  
  
"Man, you've said that about every woman we've seen this week. What exactly is your type?  
  
Vaughn hadn't answered his question. He didn't have a type, not since the day Sydney Bristow had walked into his office and into his life. Now he barely noticed other women. It was as if every other woman in the world had faded to black and white and Sydney was the only one in color. He knew he'd never be able to explain that to Peter, especially when he was at a loss to explain it to himself.  
  
Vaughn's thoughts were interrupted as Peter walked back into the room. "Okay, I'm all checked out. Mike, I'm really sorry about all this. I hope I didn't ruin your vacation."  
  
"Hey, don't worry about it. Duty calls. I understand. Besides, I was getting tired of you, anyway." They shared a laugh.  
  
"So what are you gonna do for the next two days?"  
  
Michael shrugged. "Ski, relax. Apologize to all the women you hit on this week." He grinned.  
  
"Hey, look who's a comedian now. I'm leaving just in time. Anyway, my cab is waiting downstairs. Be good, Mike. I had a blast this week."  
  
"Me too," Michael said as he handed Peter his duffel bag and patted him on the back. "Have a safe trip back. Try not to flirt with all the flight attendants."  
  
*****  
  
Back in Los Angeles, Sydney sat on the couch and restlessly flipped through the pages of InStyle magazine. Normally, she loved poring over each month's issue. But she was so bored today that she could barely pay attention to it.   
  
Francie and Will were at the restaurant and wouldn't be home for hours. She'd go hang out with them if she weren't afraid that Francie would put her to work washing dishes. Sydney thought about going to the beach for the day, or better yet, going to Palm Springs. She loved it there, and it was a great place to spend a long weekend. She picked up the phone and was just about to call her favorite bed and breakfast when she looked down at the magazine and saw a travel feature on Lake Tahoe. She smiled at the pictures of the log cabin resorts, powdery snow, and the shimmering lake that never froze over, even in winter. It was gorgeous. She could almost see herself sitting next to a fire in her room, reading a good book and sipping hot apple cider. Her decision was made. She turned on the phone and dialed the number of the resort pictured in the magazine. Then she called Francie's travel agent. Thirty minutes later, she congratulated herself on having planned a spur of the moment weekend getaway to Lake Tahoe. 


	2. Chapter 2

Friday morning, Sydney looked out the window in her room and smiled. White show blanketed the landscape, and the sun was shining brightly. She knew she had made a great decision. This was the perfect place to get away for a couple of days.  
  
"Is your room suitable, Miss Bristow?" asked the bellman.  
  
"It's perfect," she said as she turned to tip him and walk him to the door. She had considered checking in under an alias, but what was the point? She wasn't hiding from Sloane, and she relished the chance to be herself for a few days. She would be someone else soon enough when it was time for her next mission, but the next three days would be all about Sydney, and doing what Sydney wanted to do. She walked back over to the bed and opened her suitcase, as she decided to change and go for a walk outside.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Sydney was pulling on her gloves as she waited for the elevator. When the doors opened and she looked up, she couldn't believe her eyes. Standing in front of her was Michael Vaughn. "Oh my god. Vaughn."  
  
"Sydney? What are you doing here? How did you know I was here? Is something wrong?"  
  
Sydney stepped in the elevator and smirked as she pushed the button to close the doors. "I'm glad to see you've been *relaxing* Vaughn. Calm down. Nothing's wrong. I didn't even know you were here."  
  
"Really? You just showed up here? Why aren't you at SD-6?"  
  
"Sloane told me to take a long weekend." She noticed the skeptical look on his face. "Yeah, I know. How kind of him, right? He said I've been working too hard lately."  
  
"I may never say this again, but Sloane is right. After everything you've been through lately, you could definitely use a rest. Why Lake Tahoe?" Vaughn asked as the elevator doors opened in the lobby. He glanced around and steered her over to a corner where they wouldn't be overheard by anyone.  
  
Sydney shrugged. "I was flipping through a magazine, and saw a picture of this hotel. It just seemed like the perfect place. At that moment, she realized that it absolutely was the perfect place because Vaughn was here; she could hardly believe it. Even though his hand had just been on the small of her back when he guided her to the corner, she wanted to touch him and make sure that she was really standing there talking to him. "I had no idea you were here with your friend."  
  
"Peter," Vaughn nodded. "He actually had to leave, yesterday. An emergency came up and he was called back to his office in Dallas."  
  
"Oh." Sydney tried to keep her voice even. "So you're here alone now?" Please say yes, she silently pleaded with him.  
  
"Not anymore," he said, giving her one of the too infrequent grins that made her heart soar. Suddenly he frowned and rubbed his forehead. "What am I thinking? I shouldn't even be talking to you like this. Someone from security section could be watching you."  
  
Sydney shook her head. "I doubt it. Sloane's been preoccupied lately. I really don't think he's having me followed." Great. Leave it to Vaughn to be practical and cautious and bring her back down to earth. She absolutely loved that he was so concerned about her safety, but she hated the fact that he always had to be. She hated that the handler/agent aspect of their relationship was always lurking in the back of both their minds, no matter how much they wanted to ignore it.  
  
"You don't know that for sure, Syd." Vaughn wanted nothing more than to be able to spend the rest of the weekend in her company, but not if it meant putting her life at risk. His eyes swept the lobby, looking for anyone who appeared to be watching them. He didn't see anyone, but that didn't mean there wasn't someone across the street or in a hotel room somewhere monitoring them on video surveillance.   
  
Sydney smiled softly. He was so protective of her sometimes! "Vaughn," she said firmly, placing her hand on his arm, "no one's watching me. I would know if someone was."  
  
"Syd --"  
  
"Vaughn! Geez, I've been here for thirty minutes and I'm already ruining your vacation by making you worry. I'm sorry."  
  
"Syd, don't be ridiculous. You're not ruining my vacation. I just want you to be safe, that's all."  
  
"I *am* safe," she said smiling at him. "You're here. I'm always safe with you."  
  
His heart jumped a tiny bit at her words. He prayed that she was right, because if anything ever happened to her . . . He made himself push those thoughts from his mind and smiled at her again. "So where were you headed?"   
  
"I was going for a walk. You?"  
  
"Breakfast, then out to the slopes. Do you want to join me?"  
  
"For breakfast or skiing?"  
  
"Either. Both. Do you ski?"  
  
"If by *ski*, you mean *fall*, then yes, I'm an expert." They both laughed. "I bet you're a great skier, aren't you?"  
  
"I wouldn't call myself great, but I'm pretty good," Vaughn shrugged. "I spent most of my childhood on skis and skates."  
  
Sydney smiled imagining him as a boy. There was so much she didn't know about him, so much that she wanted to know. She silently promised herself, that she would take more opportunities to learn everything about him. "I appreciate the offer, Vaughn, but I don't want to slow you down, and I wouldn't dream of dragging you to the beginners' slope. You should go without me."  
  
He looked at her thoughtfully. "Hmm. I don't think I want to. I don't mind playing ski instructor for the day, honest."  
  
"Really? You're not just saying that?"  
  
"Have I ever lied to you, Sydney?"  
  
"No," she said softly. He never had. He was possibly the only person in her life she could say that about. "Give me a few minutes to get some things from my room, okay?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
As Sydney turned toward the elevator, she could barely fight the grin spreading across her face. She was about to spend the entire day with Michael Vaughn, far away from the watchful gaze of SD-6 and the CIA. 


	3. Chapter 3

If someone had told Vaughn an hour ago that he would be riding a ski lift with Sydney, he would have laughed. But here he was, next to the woman who made his heart beat a mile a minute. He thought he must have been seeing things when the elevator doors opened and she was standing before him. Part of him was so incredibly happy to see her there, but the other part of him was fearful that she was being watched. Eventually, he decided to take her word that she wasn't. He was so excited about the opportunity to spend time with her that it was easy to convince himself that it was okay for them to be seen in public together. Being her was worth the risk, he decided, and now he was about to go skiing with Sydney -- or falling with her, anyway. How appropriate. He'd already fallen *for* her; why not fall *with* her while he was at it? Not that he had believed her when she said she couldn't ski. Sydney was the most amazing woman he had ever met, he simply couldn't imagine her being bad at anything.   
  
"You seem deep in thought," Sydney teased. She had been staring at him for the last five minutes, and he hadn't even noticed. Of course, her sunglasses were so dark that he wouldn't have noticed, anyway. She complimented herself on her taste in eyewear; even Marshall couldn't have created a more useful pair of sunglasses. "What are you thinking about?"  
  
Vaughn was too embarrassed to admit that he had been thinking about her. "I was just admiring the scenery. I've been here all week, but the scenery never fails to take my breath away. Have you ever seen so much natural beauty?"  
  
"Never." Vaughn was right, the view was amazing -- white for as far as the eye could see, dotted with beautiful green trees, and framed by a crystal clear sky. It was almost as breathtaking as the man sitting next to her. Sydney silently thanked whatever higher power had led her to the same resort as Vaughn. Then she made a vow that for the rest of the afternoon, she wouldn't allow herself to think about anything but him. She pushed everything and everyone that she left behind in L.A. to a distant corner of her mind.  
  
*****  
  
Hours later, Vaughn and Sydney stood at the top of the intermediate ski course. After a few hours on the beginners' course, Sydney decided that she needed a bigger challenge. Vaughn was a great instructor, and had taught her several tricks that kept her from spending the greater part of the afternoon on her rear end. Meanwhile, she had admired how graceful he was on skis. She tried to keep herself from also admiring the way that his ski clothes emphasized his lean, muscular body, but she couldn't help herself. She was sure that he must have caught her staring at him several times during the day, but she didn't care. She decided there was no such thing as protocol for two people who were on vacation. Especially not if their names were Michael and Sydney and they had let protocol dictate their lives for the better part of a year.   
  
She turned to Vaughn and shot him a dazzling smile. "Hey, I'll race you down."  
  
He laughed and raised an eyebrow. "Someone's feeling a little overconfident."  
  
"Aw, c'mon. I could take you, Vaughn. I've had a really good instructor."  
  
"Ha. Syd, you're crazy. I would do almost anything for you, but I would never let you beat me down the slope. Never. Not in a million years."  
  
He was smiling, but he was dead serious. Sydney had never realized how competitive he could be or how much of a turn-on it was. She knew that she was no match for him, but she wasn't about to back down now. "Whatever, Vaughn. Let's go on three, okay?"  
  
Seconds later, they were whooshing down the slope. Sydney was in the lead, but only because Vaughn was holding back before making a push near the bottom. Besides, he was enjoying the view immensely, at least until one of her skis flew out from under her, leaving her sprawled on her back. Vaughn raced over to her. "Sydney, are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said laughing. "That's what I get for trying to be a show-off."  
  
He grinned. "Yeah, it is." Vaughn let out a sigh of relief that Sydney wasn't hurt. He couldn't even imagine how they would have explained an injury to Sloane and Devlin. He reached out a hand to help her up, but didn't offer much resistance when she pulled him down onto the snow next to her, instead.  
  
"Vaughn, you were totally holding back on me. Don't think I didn't realize it." She grinned at him. "I thought you said you weren't going to let me win."  
  
"I wouldn't have. Trust me, I knew what I was doing."   
  
"You always do." They were both all smiles, enjoying each other's company as the sun slowly started to set. Sydney couldn't help but be disappointed. The day had been so much fun, and now it was coming to an end. She didn't want it to. She would happily stay on that slope with him forever.  
  
"Vaughn, thanks for today," Sydney said softly. "I had such a great time. I haven't had this much fun in . . . well, I can't remember the last time I had this much fun."  
  
"Me either." Suddenly he realized that he didn't want to have to say good-bye to her when they returned to the hotel. Having spent the day laughing and joking with Sydney, he didn't want to go back to a lonely room. He wanted to spend the evening the same way he spent the afternoon -- with her. "Have dinner with me," he blurted out.  
  
She looked at him in surprise. "Seriously?"  
  
"Sure. We have to eat, right? And I don't know anyone else at the hotel. You'd be saving me the embarrassment of eating alone."  
  
Sydney rolled her eyes. As if he would ever be alone for long. Sometimes she couldn't figure out if he was just modest or completely blind to what he saw when he looked in the mirror.   
  
"Okay. Dinner sounds good. I'm starving, actually."  
  
"Good," Vaughn said softly. He opened his mouth to say more, but decided against it. Instead, he just smiled at her. She had been the lucky recipient of so many of his smiles today, but she couldn't get enough of them. They made her feel like she was the only person in the world to him. She'd committed all of those smiles to memory, just in case they became more infrequent when they returned to L.A.  
  
After a few more minutes, Vaughn stood up and reached out his hand for Sydney once more. This time, she let him pull her up and they made their way down the slope together. 


	4. Chapter 4

An hour after returning from the slopes, Sydney made her way down to the hotel's restaurant. She stopped at a mirror in the lobby to check her appearance. She smoothed the skirt of her short black dress, and fiddled with the sleeves of the black sweater she wore over it. Had she made a mistake by putting her hair up? She didn't want Vaughn to think she had fussed over her appearance, even though she totally had. She looked at the reflection staring back at her, and noticed that her cheeks were flushed. She wasn't sure if it was because she had spent the entire day out in the cold air or if she was simply excited about having dinner with Vaughn for the first time. Even though this technically wasn't a date, her stomach was full of butterflies as she walked into the restaurant. Almost immediately, she noticed Vaughn standing at the bar with his back turned to her. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him in a black turtleneck sweater and khakis. If there was an institution for the criminally beautiful, she thought, they'd have to lock him up and throw away the key.  
  
She steadied her nerves, walked up behind him and playfully asked, "Can I buy you a drink?"  
  
"No thanks, I'm wai --" He turned around and laughed when he saw her standing in front of him. "Yeah. Actually, you might have to buy me a few drinks." He let his eyes take her in. "Wow. You look great."  
  
She could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks. "Thanks. You don't look half bad, yourself. I didn't keep you waiting long, did I?"  
  
"No. But it would have been worth it if you had." He said as the host came to take them to their table.  
  
The table was next to a huge floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked Lake Tahoe itself. Even though it was dark outside, they could see the calmness and stillness of the water. It was a gorgeous sight, made even more so by the soft candlelight flickering throughout the dining room. The overall effect was soft and romantic, a fact not lost on either Vaughn or Sydney.  
  
Vaughn looked over the top of his menu to steal a glance at Sydney. She looked incredibly beautiful. He had a hard enough time trying not to notice that when they were working together, but today when they were skiing, it had been impossible not to notice. All day long, she had been smiling and laughing, her cheeks rosy, her eyes sparkling. He wished more than anything that he could see her that way all the time. She deserved to be happy, not trapped in a double life that caused her nothing but misery.   
  
"What, Vaughn?" Sydney asked, not looking up from her menu, but breaking his train of thought.  
  
"I didn't say anything," he murmured.  
  
"Yeah, but you were looking at me," she smiled. "Your surveillance technique needs work, not that I mind."  
  
He laughed. He was busted. "How did you know that I was looking at you?"  
  
"Because I saw your reflection in the window," she laughed. "*My* technique is pretty good. I could teach you a few things."  
  
Sydney Bristow could probably teach him a lot of things, Vaughn thought, and he was oh so willing to learn. "Sorry. I just noticed that you've been smiling ever since we sat down. You just seem like you're in a really good mood. It's nice, that's all."  
  
Sydney set her menu down and turned to look at her own reflection in the window. She almost didn't recognize herself. Physically, she looked the same, but there was definitely something different in her eyes. Something she hadn't seen in a really long time. The realization took her by surprise.  
  
"I *am* in a good mood." She paused, unsure of whether she should continue. She didn't want to give too much of herself away, and she didn't want to freak Vaughn out. But they were friends, right? So she should just be completely honest with him, even if she couldn't quite look him in the eye. "Vaughn, today was the first day since before Danny died that I felt truly, completely happy. It was the first day in eight years that I didn't have to lie to anyone or pretend to be something that I'm not. This morning when you asked me to go skiing with you, I decided that I wasn't going to think about SD-6 or the CIA or my parents for a whole day, and I didn't." She shook her head slightly. "I didn't think it would be so easy to forget all those things, but . . . it was somehow." She took a deep breath and continued. Today was the first day that I could actually imagine what it would feel like to be free from all of that. It was even better than I thought it would be." She finally looked up at him and found his green eyes full of understanding and warmth. "I know it's probably going to be a long time before SD-6 is gone. So if I only got to feel this way for one day, I'm really glad that it was a day that I spent with you."  
  
"Syd," Vaughn started. He wasn't quite sure what to say, but he was completely touched by Sydney's words. It killed him knowing that this was probably the last time for a long time that she would feel this way. It was probably also the last time for a while that *he* would feel this way. She wasn't the only one who had felt free earlier; he had too. For one perfect afternoon, he was free to look at her and hear the melodic sound of her laugh. He was free to fully appreciate how much he loved spending time with her. And even though he tried to stop himself from doing it, he had been free to imagine what it would be like to be the kind of people who could go away on vacation together whenever they wanted to. It was all a fantasy, of course, but for one afternoon it had felt so real. As he looked across the table and saw Sydney's eyes shining in a way that he had never seen before, he vowed that he would do everything in his power to help her escape her double life. He would do it not in the hope that they could one day be together, but because she deserved it, whether they ended up together or not.  
  
She laughed nervously when she noticed how quiet he had gotten. "Hey, I didn't mean to get all serious on you. I just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed today." She was desperate to change the subject before Vaughn had a chance to remember all the things that she was trying to forget. She wasn't quite ready for the glass carriage to turn back into a pumpkin, for Michael Vaughn to go back to being Agent Vaughn. Luckily, their waiter chose that moment to come take their order. After he left, Vaughn leaned back in his seat a bit and smiled at her.  
  
"So are you sore from all the falling -- I mean skiing -- you did today?" he asked teasingly.  
  
"Not yet," she laughed, "but ask me again in the morning, after --" her voice trailed off. No, no, no, no, she did *not* just say that. She had meant it completely innocently, but now Vaughn's eyes were locked on hers and she knew that they were thinking the same thing . . . *the morning after*. Could she have possibly chose a more loaded phrase? The words kept echoing in her mind, and her thoughts were sprinting to places that they should not go. She told, no ordered, herself not to think about what Vaughn would look like or feel like or smell like *the morning after*. She wouldn't let herself imagine that -- until she went to bed, and then she knew she would probably think of nothing else.   
  
Vaughn couldn't tear his eyes away from Sydney. Was she starting to blush? He knew that she hadn't meant anything by her comment, but his heart couldn't help but beat faster when he heard it. His mind was screaming at him to the rules of agent/handler protocol, but his heart and body were causing him to have a case of temporary amnesia.  
  
"Yeah, you'll be lucky if you can walk tomorrow." When her eyebrows shot up, he stammered, "'Cause, um, you know, skiing uses a lot of muscles that don't get used every day. You should soak in a hot bath tonight."  
  
"Is that your professional opinion, Dr. Vaughn?" she teased. "I'm sure I won't be *that* sore." She figured the pain caused by skiing couldn't be any worse than the pain of getting her ass kicked on a semi-regular basis by guards and goons.  
  
"Great, so you'll be out on the slopes again tomorrow?"  
  
"Uh, I doubt it. I think I'll be spending some quality time with the masseuse, instead."  
  
Okay, he wasn't going to touch *that* with a ten foot pole. The thought of Sydney laying on a table draped by only a towel was more than he could handle. He thought it best to return the conversation to safer subjects.   
  
"So how come you didn't want to spend your time off back in L.A. with Will and Francie?"  
  
She blinked in surprise at Vaughn's question. In all honesty, she hadn't even considered spending the weekend with them. The realization made her feel a little bit guilty. She had spent so little time with them lately, and as soon as she had the chance, she had hightailed it out of town.   
  
"Honestly, I didn't even think about it. That's horrible, isn't it? I guess I just wanted to spend some time by myself." At least, she thought she had, until she ran into him in the elevator. "Besides, Francie's so busy with the restaurant, and Will is really caught up in the research project you gave him. I wouldn't expect them to drop everything and hang out with me just because I got a couple of days off." She looked up at him and smiled. "You know so much about my friends, and other than Weiss, I know almost nothing about yours. Tell me about Peter."  
  
"Ah, Peter. Well, he's probably my oldest friend. He and I played hockey together in college, and we went to the same law school."  
  
"Wait, you went to law school? How did I not know that?"  
  
Vaughn shrugged. "I guess it never came up."  
  
"Hmm, I guess not. So you and Peter were jocks," she laughed. "I can't even imagine how many girls used to throw themselves at you guys. I bet they still do, and don't even think about pulling the modest routine, Vaughn. I know better." She was fishing, in much the same way as she had when she'd asked him about his "wife" that one time. She couldn't help it; she knew that she wasn't the only woman who had ever had her head turned by him. She just wondered if he was aware of that.  
  
"Well, yeah, we used to get our fair share of attention from girls, but Peter was the only one who ever took advantage of it," he grinned.  
  
"Yeah, right! You're such a liar, Vaughn." She lowered her voice, "You can tell me. I bet you had one of those take-a-number machines outside your dorm room."   
  
"I did, but it broke from overuse," he laughed. "Seriously, Sydney, you think I was a ladies man?"  
  
"How could you not be?" She shrugged. "You don't have to apologize for that. You were in college, that's what college guys do." She took a deep breath. "So how many women hit on you this week?"  
  
"Including you at the bar?" he teased. "A few . . . I don't know. I didn't really pay them much attention."  
  
"Why not? I mean, you were on vacation, you wouldn't have to see any of them again . . . Why not enjoy it?" She knew she was treading into dangerous territory, but she had never let danger deter her before.  
  
Vaughn knew what Sydney was doing, and if he had had any sense at all, he would have changed the subject. But he was enjoying their flirting too much to let common sense get in the way. He decided for once and for all that, in keeping with Sydney's theme for the day, he wasn't her handler; he was just a normal guy having dinner with the girl he was crazy about.   
  
"I guess I was just waiting for the right woman to show up. So are you going to buy me that drink, or what?" 


	5. Chapter 5

Sydney sat back in her chair and looked at Vaughn as he signed the credit card receipt for their dinner. Seeing the pen in his hand reminded her that he was left-handed. She wasn't sure why that fact fascinated her so much, after all, lots of people were left-handed. On the other hand, this was Vaughn, and everything about him fascinated her, even more so now.  
  
In the space of two hours, she had learned so much more about Michael Vaughn than she had known before. Now she knew that he had grown up in Great Falls, Virginia, not too far from Langley. She knew that he had spent almost all of his summers in France at the vineyard that his mother's family owned. She felt like she practically knew his whole family based on the stories he told her. Her favorite was the one about visiting Stonehenge with his crazy Aunt Trish. She loved it that he was so close to his family, maybe because she had never known her mother's family and Jack was an only child. She allowed herself to hope that one day she would get to meet Vaughn's family, to meet all the people who had influenced his life and made him into the person that he was.  
  
She had learned other things about him too. She now knew that his favorite color was blue, his favorite city was Florence, that he spent three years working in the CIA's Paris field office, and his pet peeve was slow drivers. In turn, she told him plenty of things about herself, so now he knew that she was a notorious snooze-button pusher, that she had briefly considered majoring in drama at UCLA, that she secretly loved the glitz and glamour of Monte Carlo, and that her favorite color was green. She hadn't felt the need to tell him that it had been red, until about a year ago.  
  
He had laughed his ass off when she told him the story of how she and Sarah Miles were almost expelled from boarding school for sneaking into the boys' dorm and pulling the fire alarm at 3:30 in the morning. He could practically picture the expression on Jack's face when he was summoned to meet with the headmaster, and he loved seeing the mischievous twinkle in Sydney's eyes as she recalled the story.  
  
Vaughn had often wondered whether he and Sydney could have a normal, non-espionage related conversation outside their work setting. Now he knew. They had traded anecdotes back and forth, trying to top each other's stories and see who could make the other laugh harder. In a way, being with her felt like spending time with an old, familiar friend. But every now and then, they would look up at each other and both feel their heartbeats quicken. Mentally running down his list of close friends, Vaughn knew that none of them looked as good in a dress as Sydney Bristow. No matter how comfortable he felt talking to her, there was something about her that still made his palms sweat.  
  
He put his credit card back in his wallet and slipped it into his back pocket. "Are you ready to go?" he asked her.  
  
"Yeah, I guess we shouldn't hog the table all night, right?" Sydney tried to sound cheerful, and hide her disappointment. Truthfully, she wasn't ready to leave yet. She was afraid that if she left the table, she would leave behind all the new things that she had learned about him, as well as the normalcy of two people having a night out together. But more than anything, she wasn't ready to let him go and return to her room alone. She knew that for sure when he walked over to her side of the table, pulled her chair out, and took her left hand in his, pulling her up from her seat. She could feel the tingle run the entire length of her body as his warm hand wrapped around hers. Her legs almost felt weak as he led her out of the restaurant and towards the elevators. As they waited for the elevator to arrive, she was afraid that he would remove his hand, but he didn't. Instead, he squeezed it even tighter and smiled down at her. He was making her dizzy with happiness, and he probably didn't even know it. She turned her head away from him so he wouldn't see the grin that was spreading across her face. Michael Vaughn was holding her hand! Part of her felt like a teenage girl again, but part of her felt very much like a woman who was struggling to contain her desire for him.  
  
They rode the elevator in silence until they got to her floor. When the doors opened, Vaughn let go of her hand, much to her dismay. Sydney led the way until they reached room 716.  
  
"This is me," she said softly. She bit the inside of her lip. She couldn't bring herself to say goodnight to him. He was standing behind her as she faced the door, and she could almost feel his breath on the back of her neck before she turned around to face him. "Vaughn, I -- "  
  
"You're not going to thank me for today again, are you?" He asked teasingly. "I didn't do anything. You don't have to keep thanking me, I should be thanking you. You made my day better, too."  
  
"I did?"  
  
"Yeah, you did." His face was so close to hers now that she could practically count his eyelashes. Luckily she was leaning against the door, because she wasn't sure that her legs would have supported her. He was so beautiful and all she wanted to do was pull him towards her and . . .  
  
"Are you tired?" she asked.  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"Do you want to come in?"  
  
He wanted to, more than anything in the world. But he didn't trust himself to go into Sydney's room and leave before the sun came up. Their bodies were so close that he could practically feel the heat emanating between them. He was already fighting the urge to wrap his arms around her and kiss her for days. It had been well and good to forget protocol for the day, but he knew that he was dangerously close to crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed. "Syd, I shouldn't."  
  
She looked deep into his eyes and sighed. Nice to see you again, Agent Vaughn, she thought. Now go run along and tell Michael to come back. "No, you probably shouldn't. But I could use the company." She threw him her most dazzling smile.  
  
Vaughn silently cursed himself for being unable to resist her. He had done so many crazy things for this woman. He'd broken into the Vatican, almost died in Taipei, broken her free from FBI custody, and all because he couldn't say no to her. All those things were child's play, however, compared to what she was asking him to do now. He wasn't sure that he had the kind of self-control necessary for this kind of operation. This was Mission Impossible: safely get in and out of Sydney Bristow's hotel room without giving into the urge to ravish her. He took a deep breath. He could do this, he could strong. He could say goodnight to her and go back to his room alone.  
  
"Okay, but just for a little while."  
  
She beamed at him, and, as she unlocked the door, he knew that he was going to fail this mission. He, Michael Vaughn, was about to go down in flames, and he was going to enjoy it.  
  
As Sydney opened the door, she decided to leave the lights off. While they were at dinner, housekeeping had come by and started a fire in the fireplace and turned down the bed. She quickly averted her eyes from the bed; she knew she couldn't let herself think about that. Instead, she focused on the fact that the room was bathed in a soft orange glow, and that it felt warm all around her. She was unsure what to do or say next. She had been so focused on not saying goodnight to Vaughn that she hadn't even stopped to consider what would happen once he was in her room.  
  
"Do you want something to drink?" she asked as he closed the door behind them. "I'm a notorious mini-bar fiend. I can't believe the accounting department at SD-6 hasn't called me on the carpet for that yet."  
  
Vaughn couldn't help but laugh at the image of Sydney sitting on the floor of a hotel room surrounded by chocolate bars, pistachio nuts, and those ridiculously expensive bottles of soda. He was about to answer when he heard her gasp.  
  
"Oh wait," she said breathlessly. She walked over to the ice bucket on the table across the room, and picked something up. "I forgot that I had . . . this!" She held up a bottle and two champagne flutes.  
  
Vaughn's eyebrows shot up. "You have champagne in here?" If she had strawberries too, he knew he was going to be in trouble.  
  
"Compliments of Francie. It was here in my room when I arrived, along with a sarcastic note about being free of the bank for four whole days. She told me to find a hot guy and get drunk," she giggled. "I don't plan on getting drunk, but you're a fairly hot guy, and I *did* offer you a drink. I'm paying up now."  
  
"I'm just a *fairly* hot guy? Are you sure you don't want to go back downstairs and find a *really* hot guy to drink this with?"  
  
"Fishing for compliments, Mr. Vaughn?" she asked as she joined him in front of the fireplace. She handed him the bottle and held out the flutes. "You're not as hot as Lambert or Kendall, but you'll do in a pinch."  
  
He laughed as he opened the champagne and poured it into the glasses. "Are you saying that I'd only be second runner-up in the Mr. CIA Pageant?"  
  
"Well, first runner-up. Kendall would probably be disqualified 'cause he's FBI," she grinned. "Hey, I didn't mean to bruise your ego. If it makes you feel any better, I'd vote for you."  
  
"I don't want your pity vote," he said with mock indignation.  
  
"It wouldn't be a pity vote. Honest!" Her laughter trailed off as she cocked her head and took a long look at him. When she spoke again, her voice was soft and quiet. "Vaughn, you're . . . no one could compete with you."  
  
"Thanks." He marveled at the way that a simple compliment from her made his heart feel like it would jump right out of his chest. He nodded toward their champagne glasses and asked, "Shall we?" He began to raise the glass to his lips until Sydney reached out and grabbed his forearm. Even through his sweater, the soft touch of her fingers sent a thrill through him.  
  
"Wait, we have to make a toast. You do it."  
  
He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Okay, a toast. What do you want to toast to?"  
  
"C'mon, Vaughn. I'm sure you can think of something without my help."  
  
He looked closely at her. "I loved seeing you smile so much today, Sydney. So if today was the happiest you've been in a long time, then here's to a lot more days like today."  
  
"Cheers," she said as she clinked her glass with his and took a sip of the champagne. She would give anything to have more days like today. Days where she didn't have to worry about all the people she loved, where she didn't have to choke back her disgust as she smiled at Sloane, where she didn't have to lie to anyone. But more than anything, she wanted more days that she could spend alone with Vaughn. She would gladly put up with all the other crap in her life just to be with him.  
  
She sighed and sat down cross-legged on the floor in front of the fireplace and set her glass down next to her. She reached her hand up to Vaughn's and pulled him down to sit next to her. He stretched out his legs in front of him and leaned back on his right hand. They were silent for a few moments as they both stared at the fire.  
  
"When I was a kid, " Sydney began, "I used to love to sit in front of the fireplace and just stare for hours. I loved watching the flames dance around and hearing the wood crackle. Sometimes, my nanny and I would roast marshmallows. I usually ended up burning mine, though," she laughed. "It's weird, the things you remember."  
  
"Yeah, " he said quietly. "I remember going out with my father to get firewood one day. I guess it was a few months before he died. I begged him to let me use the axe to chop the firewood even though the axe was almost as big as I was. So he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around mine and helped me chop the wood. I was so proud of myself when we got home, but my mom was horrified that he had let me do that." He laughed. "I haven't thought about that in such a long time."  
  
She studied his profile as he got a far away look in his eyes. She wished that she could read his thoughts.   
  
"Vaughn, why do you think we ended up here together?"  
  
He turned his head to look at her. "You don't think it was a coincidence?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, I don't. When Sloane gave me time off, I could have stayed in L.A., or I could have gone anywhere else in the world. But I didn't. I ended up here, where you were, without even knowing it. That can't be a coincidence, especially not on top of everything else."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Of all the handlers in the CIA, why was I assigned to you? I could have been assigned to Lambert, or someone more senior, but I got you instead, the son of a man my mother killed. When we found out the truth about my mother and your father, I realized that our lives were connected even before we met. It almost feels like fate pushed us together, like we were bound to intersect at some point. Do you ever feel that way?"  
  
"Sometimes," he admitted. He was unsure whether to continue with what he was going to say. Sydney had been so happy today. He didn't want to ruin that, but he needed to have this discussion with her. It was something he had been thinking about a lot lately. "Sometimes, but I don't think fate was what killed Danny, and we never would have met if it weren't for that."  
  
Sydney bit her lip and looked away, and he cursed himself for mentioning Danny. He didn't mean to be insensitive, it was just that he had so many questions about the man she had almost married. He wanted Sydney to open up to him, but not if it meant making her relive the pain of Danny's death. "Syd, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. I shouldn't have said that."   
  
She smiled softly. "Vaughn, it's okay. Really."  
  
He took her right hand in his left and squeezed it. "You've told me so much about yourself over the past year, but other than the things you wrote in your statement, I know almost nothing about him.   
  
"You want to know about Danny?" she asked with surprise.  
  
"Yeah, I guess I do. But if it's too hard for you to talk about him, I understand."  
  
Sydney sighed. "With anyone else, it would be easy to talk about him."  
  
"But not with me?" He was surprised. He thought that he and Sydney could talk about anything.  
  
Sydney echoed his thoughts. "Vaughn, you're the only person in my life that I can be completely honest with, and I know that I can tell you anything. It's just that every time I think about Danny, I feel so guilty."  
  
"Syd, it's not your fault that he was killed." Vaughn's voice was soft but vehement. "The only person who should feel guilty about his death is Sloane."  
  
"I know," she said looking down into her lap. "I still blame myself for his death sometimes, but that's not the main reason why I feel guilty." She looked up at him. "Are you sure you want to have this conversation?"  
  
"Yes," he answered even though he was almost afraid to hear what Sydney was going to say.  
  
"Danny was a great guy, a really good guy, and I loved him so much. I was ready to spend my life with him, and have kids with him. I figured that when I finished with grad school, I would quit SD-6, and become a teacher, and Danny and I would have this wonderful life together. But when he proposed, I couldn't stand lying to him about what I did, and then . . . then they killed him, and I found out the truth. I found out that everything in my life had been a lie. Then I met you."  
  
She looked down at her right hand, still enclosed in his, and slowly entwined her fingers with his. "Since I've known you, Vaughn, you've done all these amazing things for me. You've risked your career and your life to help me -- more than once. Every time I've felt like giving up, you've reassured me that what we're doing is actually having an impact. You go out of your way to protect me and support me, and I don't think you know how much appreciate that, because I never tell you. But I do appreciate it. I know I take you for granted, but I'm so grateful that you're in my life."  
  
"Syd," Vaughn's voice was choked with emotion.  
  
"No," Sydney cut him off. "I need to tell you this. The reason why I feel guilty when I think about Danny is because I know that I wouldn't know you if he hadn't died, but I can't imagine my life without you in it. You've been such an incredible friend, and I trust and depend on you more than anyone in my life, ever. I know that Danny would be happy that I have someone like you in my life. And that makes me feel even guiltier, because if someone told me that I could either keep my life the way it is now, or go back to the way it used to be when Danny was still alive, I know that I wouldn't go back," her voice was a whisper now. "The day that I walked into the CIA office, I was hellbent on taking SD-6 down, on avenging Danny's death. When we started, that was what kept me going, the thought that I was fighting back, for him. But somewhere along the way, things changed, and I know now that he's not what I'm fighting for anymore."   
  
Vaughn gently removed his hand from hers and reached up to brush back the strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face. Sydney shivered as his fingertips brushed her face. "What are you fighting for?" he asked her.  
  
"For this. For more days like today with you. That's what I'm fighting for."  
  
Vaughn was still taking in her words when she suddenly jumped up and moved away from him. She buried her face in her hands, and exclaimed, "I can't believe I just told you that! Oh my god."  
  
He stood up and walked over to where she was, and she turned her back to him. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Syd, it's okay." He stepped around to face her, but she tried to turn again. He placed his hands on her upper arms and turned her back to him, gently but firmly. She kept her hands over her face, not believing that she had let herself say all those things to him. She was mortified, even as Vaughn softly kissed her forehead. "Sydney, look at me." His voice was low and insistent.  
  
"I can't, Vaughn. I wasn't supposed to tell you all those things."  
  
"Why not?" he asked.  
  
"Because. Because SD-6 could have us killed, and the CIA could reassign you, and I don't even know how you feel about --"  
  
"Sydney, you can't be serious. I haven't exactly been doing a great job of hiding the way that I feel about you. I know it's written all over my face whenever someone mentions your name. You must know by now that I . . ." his voice trailed off.  
  
She finally removed her hands from her face and looked at him. "That you what, Vaughn?"  
  
"That I . . . care about you. A lot."  
  
Sydney made a face. "You *care* about me? Great." She noticed that he wouldn't look her in the eye. She thought about telling him goodnight and pretending that none of this had happened, but she couldn't. She had already put out there. It was too late for her to take back all the things she had said, and there was nothing left to do now but be completely honest with him. She moved her right hand to the back of his head, holding it firmly so he couldn't avert his gaze from her. She looked deeply into his green eyes. "I wish I could say that I care about you too, but I don't. I love you, Vaughn." 


	6. Chapter 6

Vaughn closed his eyes and took a sharp breath. With four words, Sydney Bristow had turned his world upside down -- in the good way. He could hardly believe that this incredible, beautiful, brave woman had just told him that she loved him, especially after he had been less than forthcoming about his own feelings for her. He had almost wanted to slap himself when he told her that he "cared" for her. More like worshiped, adored, needed, and wanted her. But he had been afraid to tell her, even after she poured out her heart about Danny. For so long, he was convinced that his love for her was unrequited. Even when she asked him to the hockey game, he thought it was more about thumbing her nose at Sloane than wanting to spend time with him. They had grown much closer since she rescued him in France, but he wasn't presumptuous enough to assume that the depth of her feelings matched his. But now, she had gone and proven him wrong. He had never in his life been so happy to be wrong about something.  
  
Still, he was almost afraid to open his eyes, for fear that he was dreaming this. But when he finally did open them, he found himself looking into Sydney's dark brown eyes, which were searching his own.   
  
"Vaughn, are you going to say something?" she asked, her voice shaky.  
  
He closed his eyes again and leaned his forehead against hers. "Do you know," he whispered "how many times I've dreamt of hearing you say that? In my dreams, though, I always told you first."  
  
"Well, so far," she teased, "you haven't told me anything, except that you care about me, and frankly, that's not a lot for me to go on."  
  
Even now, in the middle of the most important moment of his life, she could make him laugh. He reached up to pull Sydney's hand from the back of his head. He held it in his and moved it to his chest so she could feel his heart beating, beating for her. "Sydney Bristow, I've been in love with you from the moment I saw you in that red wig."  
  
Sydney was sure that her heart had just doubled in size, and her dimples were out in full force. "That long, huh? Why did you wait so long to tell me?"  
  
"A thousand reasons. I wasn't sure that you felt the same way, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, I was trying to keep our relationship professional, not to mention the inappropriateness of a handler falling in love with his agent. I always thought that I would wait until SD-6 was destroyed to tell you."  
  
"Vaughn!" she said exasperatedly. "Who knows when that will be. I can't believe that you were just going to wait for who knows how long to tell me that you loved me."   
  
"Sydney, I don't think I have to remind you of all the reasons why I shouldn't even be telling you this now."  
  
"I know," she sighed. "I know that you're right. But you did tell me, and you can't take it back, now."  
  
"No, I can't. I wouldn't. Now you know why I can't sleep when you're on a mission, and why I smile every time a paper bag gets delivered to my office, and why my heart starts beating faster every time I hear your footsteps in the warehouse."  
  
"And why you would do something completely crazy, like break into the Vatican with me?" She smiled as he nodded. "You would do anything for me, wouldn't you?" It was a rhetorical question, really. She already knew that he would -- that he had -- and she loved him for it. "I know you would, because I would for you too."  
  
"Yeah, that's part of the problem, Syd. If Sloane, or your mom, or Kendall and Devlin knew that . . . there's no telling what they would do. Having the feelings for each other that we do puts us at their mercy."  
  
"Vaughn, I know that. I know that it's terribly inconvenient to be in love with you, but I don't care. After Danny, I didn't think that I would ever open my heart to anyone again. But I did. Now that I know that you love me, I won't give you up. Ever. Please don't ask me to do that."  
  
"I'm not asking you to do that. I would never ask you to do that. I tried to close myself off to you once before and it nearly killed me." He took a deep breath. "But we have to be realistic about this. We just made our lives a thousand times more complicated than they were yesterday."  
  
She broke away from him and walked to the window. Is was so beautiful outside, so peaceful and calm. She wished her life could be that way. She wondered if it ever would be. "You know, usually when two people finally admit that they love each other, it makes their lives better, not worse."  
  
He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her back into his embrace and bent his head down to nuzzle her neck. "Sydney, if you never remember anything else that I tell you, remember this. Loving you and knowing that you love me too makes my life so much better than it was before. You could never make my life worse. Ever. Things are more complicated now, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We'll figure this out, I promise."  
  
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his. He always knew how to make her feel better. It was like magic. She knew that he needed to be practical -- someone had to be, and they both knew it wouldn't be her. He was right, they would have to figure out a way not to let their feelings interfere with the work ahead of them. They had to, because now they were fighting for something much more important than the downfall of SD-6.   
  
"You make my life better, too, Vaughn. You always have. You always will, I know that."  
  
"Either that, or I'll die trying." He was joking but he felt her stiffen in his arms.  
  
"Vaughn, don't say that!" she exhaled sharply. "Considering my track record . . . it's nothing to joke about." Suddenly, she was finding it hard to breathe. After Danny and Noah, she was starting to believe that she was cursed to lose every man that meant anything to her. If anything ever happened to Vaughn, she knew that she would never get over it.  
  
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He kissed her temple and tried to soothe her. She was so complicated, like a constantly shifting puzzle that he could never quite figure out. But he couldn't deny that he loved the challenge. Life with Sydney would never, ever be boring, he was sure of that. He grew quiet with her as they both stared at the snow that was softly falling outside the window.   
  
"It's so beautiful out there, " she said softly.  
  
"It is in here, too." He could see her reflection smile in the window. "I love you, Sydney. So much."  
  
"How much?" Her words were teasing, but the intensity in her eyes gave her away. She wasn't challenging him; she really needed to know -- wanted to know -- how much he loved her.   
  
"More than I could tell you," he told her as he kissed her neck.  
  
She turned around to face him, pressing her body against his. She took his arms and wrapped them back around her waist, and then wrapped her own arms around his neck. She looked into his eyes and was awed by the depth of emotion she saw in them. She knew that no man had ever looked at her the way that he did, with so much love and admiration and respect. No man had ever known or understood her more than he did, either. And she knew, even before it happened, that no man had ever kissed her the way that he would.  
  
"Show me."   
  
As his lips gently found hers, she knew that she had been right. Their kiss was soft and gentle, but gradually grew in intensity. After more than a year of buildup, it was no surprise that their passion for each other started to explode. As their kiss deepened, they were both short of breath, but reluctant to break the kiss that they had both waited so long for. Her hands were in his hair and his hands traced lazy circles across her back as he pulled her closer to him. When he started kissing her neck, she could barely fight the moan that escaped her lips.   
  
Things were starting to go beyond the point where Vaughn could control himself any longer. He had already broken every rule of protocol except one, and he knew that he should stop before he crossed that last line. But nothing in his life had ever felt as good as holding Sydney in his arms and kissing her. He could only imagine one thing that would feel better, and he wanted that more than anything, so much so that he was desperately trying to ignore the nagging voices in the back of his mind. He silently told them to shut up as he slid Sydney's sweater off of one shoulder and kissed it softly.   
  
She brought her arms down from around his neck so she could shrug the sweater off her arms. After it landed in a crumple on the floor, she moved her hands underneath his own sweater, moving them around his waist and across his chest. She could feel his body shudder under her touch. She pulled the sweater up in one smooth motion to remove it, but the turtleneck got stuck over his face, requiring some additional tugging. She could hear him laughing, and a giggle escaped her own mouth.  
  
"See what you do to me, Vaughn? I can diffuse a bomb in a matter of seconds, but I can't even undress you without fumbling all over myself." When the sweater finally came off, she saw his green eyes full of laughter.   
  
"Yeah, we're gonna have to work on your manual dexterity skills one day."  
  
"No time like the present," she murmured as she kissed his chest. "But hey, check out my strength skills." She pushed him backwards until he found himself sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached out and pulled her towards him so she was standing between his legs. "SD-6 was useful for something, after all."  
  
She regretted the statement almost as soon as she said it. He sighed loudly, even as he wrapped his arms tighter around her and rested his head against her stomach. She let her hands play in his hair, even though she was dreading the words that she knew would come out of his mouth.   
  
"Syd, we shouldn't --"  
  
"Don't," she pleaded. "Don't try to stop this." She almost wanted to scream. SD-6 had already taken so much from her. It wasn't going to take this too. "Don't you want this?"  
  
He pulled his head back and looked up into her eyes. "Yes, of course I want this. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life. But Syd, if we do this," his voice was soft but intense, "if we do this, we're just going to want to do it again, and we can't. Once we get back to L.A., we're going to have to be more careful than ever before. But if I make love to you tonight . . . I don't think I'll trust myself to be alone with you again."  
  
She smiled softly and kissed the top of his head. "So we'll get my dad to chaperone us."  
  
"Syd," he groaned.  
  
"Vaughn, stop dragging common sense into this," she said with an exasperated sigh. "I know all the reasons why I should push you out the door, and so do you. But I also know that I've never wanted anything more than I want to be with you right now. We just spent the whole day together, and it was amazing. Can't we have just one night together too? We can go back to being Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow when we get back to L.A., but tonight is about Michael and Sydney. And they have too many clothes on right now," she grinned.  
  
He couldn't help but grin himself. God, would he ever be able to resist this woman? He had a feeling that he was destined to spend the rest of his life wrapped around her little finger -- happily. As he pulled her down into his lap, he told her that she was right -- Michael and Sydney *did* have too many clothes on. But that was a problem, maybe the *only* problem they had encountered together, that had an easy solution. 


	7. Chapter 7

Sydney woke up on Saturday morning with a satisfied smile on her face. She prided herself on being right about most things, and she had definitely been right about Vaughn. She just didn't know *how* right until last night. It didn't really show behind his conservative CIA suits, but Michael Vaughn? Was a very dangerous man, indeed. If he had been working for another intelligence agency last night, she would have gladly given up every secret that she ever knew. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she remembered all the things he had done and said to her last night. He was amazing, even better than in her fantasies. Their first time together was soft and sweet, the second was fiery and more passionate, the third time slow and sensual and the fourth . . .  
  
He broke her train of thought as he pulled her closer to him and kissed her left shoulder from behind her. "Morning," he murmured in her ear.  
  
"Just barely," she grinned.  
  
"What time is it?" he asked with a yawn.  
  
"Eleven."  
  
"Seriously? I never sleep that late."  
  
"Not even on weekends?"  
  
"Nope. All the east coast college football games start at nine, so I'm usually up."  
  
She smiled as she rolled over to face him. The things that men would do for sports! "Well, I'm not surprised you slept late. We had a late night."  
  
He blushed slightly. "Yeah, we did. God, Syd, you're more than I can handle. You always have been," he smiled.  
  
"Yeah, well, you handled me pretty well last night," she said as she nestled into his embrace.  
  
"Be sure to tell Devlin. Maybe he'll give me a promotion," he said wryly as she giggled. He was surprised at how easily he pushed all thoughts about the inappropriateness of their new closeness out of his head. He knew that eventually he would have to think about it, but that could wait. He only had 24 more hours alone with Sydney. He wasn't going to waste that time thinking about work, and he couldn't find it within himself to regret anything that happened last night, especially when Sydney began softly kissing his chest. He bent down to kiss the top of her head. "Hey, what do you want to do today?"  
  
"Do you have to ask?" she smiled wickedly. She had one day left with him. Only 24 hours to try and soak up as much of him as she could before reality came knocking on the door. She and Will had once asked each other what they would do if they only had one day left to live. She was asking herself the same question now, because she felt like she *did* only have a day to live. The day she spent with Vaughn gave her some much needed clarity, and she now realized that the only times she truly felt alive anymore were the times when she was with him. All the time in between -- well, that wasn't living, it was just waiting. Waiting for the next time she could be with him. She knew that she was going to be doing *a lot* of waiting until SD-6 was destroyed, so for today, at least, she was going to live like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"Seriously? As much as I would love to spend the whole day like this, I'd kind of wanted to actually see Tahoe. I mean, I've been here for a day and all I've seen so far are the ski slopes and this bed."  
  
"Then you've already seen all the most important sights," Vaughn grinned.  
  
She smiled back at him. God, he was so beautiful when he was smiling at her like that and his green eyes were sparkling. She was in awe at the effect that he had on her. He made her forget everything but him.  
  
"You're right, and the view was breathtaking. But I know that Francie and Will are going to be full of questions about my vacation. You know, what I did, what I saw. I have to be able to describe something other than your body," she laughed. "And they will never believe in a million years that I went to Lake Tahoe and didn't take pictures . . . of something other than you!" she giggled as soon as she saw his mouth open to say something cute.  
  
"Damn. I was all set for my closeup," he said with a mock pout as he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, here's the plan: I'm going back to my room to shower and get dressed, then I'll come back down and we'll go exploring, okay?"  
  
She laughed, "You're always giving me the plan, Agent Vaughn."  
  
"Yeah, but you like it that way," he said as he kissed her nose and rose from the bed. As he got dressed she silently watched him and smiled. It was going to take a lot to wipe the smile off of her face today. She was sure than nothing could.  
  
*****  
  
Three hours later, Vaughn and Sydney walked hand in hand down a short path until they were overlooking Emerald Bay. It was a gorgeous, clear day and Sydney felt like she could see for miles. In the distance, snow covered mountains framed the rest of the lake. In front of her were jagged grey rocks, half covered in snow, and the little island in the middle of the bay.  
  
"Wow, this is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen," she said breathlessly. She looked over at him. "Well, the *second* most gorgeous. The water's not as green as your eyes." She grinned as Vaughn looked away from her. "Are you blushing again? Geez, Vaughn, you've got to learn how to take a compliment."  
  
He just laughed softly and shook his head. "Shouldn't you be taking pictures?" he asked as he gently pried the camera from her hands. He started snapping pictures. "Hey, go stand over there, so I can get a picture of you with the lake and the mountains behind you."  
  
"No," she said softly. "Don't worry about it."  
  
"You don't want to be in a picture? Why not?" he asked, not masking the concern in his voice.  
  
She turned away from him slightly and looked down at the ground. "Because, I don't want to get the pictures back and see myself standing there without you. I know that sounds crazy . . ." her voice trailed off as she absentmindedly dug the toe of her boots into the snow. "The only picture that I really want is a picture of *us*, with your arm around my shoulders, and both of us smiling. The kind of picture that you could put on your desk, or we could put on the mantle, and pick up every now and then and say, 'Remember that time in Lake Tahoe?' But we can't take that picture, Vaughn. I know why, and I accept it, but . . . if I can't take that picture with you, I'd just rather not take one by myself." She looked up off into the distance and let a short, bitter laugh escape her lips. "God, that made no sense at all."  
  
"No, it makes perfect sense. One day, we're going to come back and take that picture, Sydney. I promise."  
  
He always knew the right thing to say to her. She turned back towards him until she was facing him. She pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head, and reached up with both hands to remove his. "Truthfully," she said looking into his eyes, "the pictures are just for Francie and Will's benefit. I don't need pictures to remember this weekend. I'll be lucky if I can remember anything else once I get home." As she felt his arms wrap around her and she pressed her face to his shoulder, she knew for sure that she wouldn't forget a single minute of the time they had spent together. The feelings and emotions would always be permanently etched in her memory. No picture could ever do them justice, anyway.  
  
They stood wrapped in each others' arms for a few minutes until Vaughn pulled away to look at his watch. "Hey," Sydney cried, "stop looking at your watch! You're on vacation, you don't have a schedule to be concerned about."  
  
"Actually, I do. We both do. C'mon," he said as he grabbed her hand and began walking back towards his rented Explorer. He had a surprise for her, and he didn't want to be late. When he saw the suspicious look she had on her face, he laughed. "Don't bother asking me questions, 'cause I'm not giving you any hints. And your spy mind games won't work on me either, because I know every interrogation trick in the book."  
  
"Fine," she said with a roll of her eyes. "I won't ask any questions, but this had better be good." Knowing him the way she did, though, she had no doubt that it would be.  
  
*****  
  
Forty-five minutes later, Sydney and Vaughn were stomping across the snow in an open meadow. Vaughn's left hand was firmly placed over Sydney's eyes as they walked. "Vaughn, your gloves are making my nose itch," she laughed.  
  
"I'm not falling for that, Sydney," Vaughn said good-naturedly. "We're almost there, anyway."  
  
A few minutes later, Sydney could tell that they had come to a stop. She raised her right arm to pull Vaughn's hand away from her eyes, but he grabbed it from behind her before she could. "Vaughn, stop teasing me!" she whined.  
  
"Okay, you win" he chuckled. "I know better than to mess with Sydney Bristow." He removed his hand from her eyes and smiled when he heard her gasp. In front of them were two blond Belgian draft horses and a two-seater sleigh. "Oh my god! We're going on a sleigh ride?" she asked excitedly.  
  
"Yeah. There were brochures for it in my room, and I thought it might be something you'd like to do. I know it's kind of cheesy," he said with an embarrassed half-smile.  
  
"Are you kidding me? This is gonna be great! I've never done anything like this before." She was practically bouncing with excitement. "Ooh, and these horses are gorgeous," she said as she reached out her hand before snapping it back. "Can I?" she asked the sleigh driver.  
  
"Of course," he chuckled. He reached out to shake her hand. "I'm Ray, I'll be your driver today." He turned to Vaughn. "You must be Michael," he said, shaking his hand.  
  
"Nice to meet you Ray."  
  
Ray tightened the reigns on the horses and smiled at Sydney. "We should probably be on the way. The sun sets soon, and that's always the most romantic time to be on the ride," he said with a wink. Sydney blushed as he offered her a hand and she stepped up into the sleigh. Vaughn followed behind her.  
  
"There are blankets back there, for you all," Ray said as they started off. Vaughn grabbed one of the blankets and placed it over his and Sydney's laps. The sun was already starting to set and the temperature was growing noticeably colder. Vaughn protectively wrapped his right arm around Sydney's shoulder, and she leaned back into him.  
  
"I can't believe you did this," she whispered in his ear.  
  
The smile that he gave her radiated pure love and warmth. "I was just trying to impress you."  
  
"You did," she laughed. "Mission accomplished." They smiled at each other until they heard Ray's voice.  
  
"So where are you folks from?"  
  
"Los Angeles," Sydney replied. "Right now, it seems a million miles away from here."  
  
"I'll bet," Ray laughed. "Not too many sleigh rides in that neck of the woods, huh? So, you folks married?"  
  
Sydney could feel the blush spreading across her cheeks. How could they explain that, not only were they *not* married, but that technically, they weren't even dating, and if the wrong people saw them together right now, they would be dead before they could ever have a relationship.  
  
"Not yet," Vaughn said smoothly. She looked at him with surprise, and he just shrugged and smiled. If she thought she was blushing before . . . *Not yet*. The thought of one day marrying Vaughn sent shivers down her spine. She knew that she was getting way ahead of herself, but she could practically imagine him waiting for her at the altar.  
  
Ray nodded knowingly as they continued. Vaughn was surprised how easily those words had rolled off his lips. He had never seriously considered marrying any of his previous girlfriends. He always figured that he *would* get married, but he had never been with anyone that he could actually visualize spending the rest of his life with. But Sydney -- he could happily imagine spending an eternity with her. He knew that she was the one; he'd known seemingly from the day he met her. And after last night, he knew that when this was all over, he wouldn't hesitate to begin the rest of his life with her.  
  
Vaughn, Sydney and Ray all grew silent as they rode along. White snow stretched in front of them for what seemed like miles, and tall trees with snow covered leaves and branches seemed to be standing guard over the meadow. The mountains were off in the distance, and ahead of them, the sky was various shades of orange and pink as the sun gracefully slid off the horizon. Once the sun set, the temperature dropped even lower, and Vaughn slipped his arm from around Sydney and reached over to grab another blanket. When he leaned back, Sydney wrapped both of her arms around his right arm, and rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Hey, Vaughn," she said softly.  
  
"Mmm hmm?"  
  
"This was the perfect way to end the day," she said as she raised her head to look up at him. "I love you," she whispered.  
  
"I love *you*," he said as he bent his head down to give her the slowest, sweetest kiss she'd ever received in her life. When they finally broke the kiss, she rested her head back on his shoulder and said a silent prayer of thanks that this incredible man was hers. She'd have to remind herself of that the next time she started feeling sorry for herself. No matter how chaotic and twisted her life was, she had him, even if she wasn't free to be with him yet. As long as she knew that he loved her, everything that she had to endure in her life was worth it.  
  
*****  
  
An hour after Vaughn and Sydney returned to the hotel, Sydney knocked on Vaughn's door. They had reservations at a restaurant they had passed by earlier in the day. She was suddenly glad that she had seen fit to pack at least one dress nice enough for a romantic dinner. She hadn't thought she would need one, but she'd finally told herself "you never know what might happen." Sure enough, she had been right. Who knew that she would go on vacation and wind up spending two days with her gorgeous handler whom she happened to be in love with?  
  
When Vaughn opened the door, Sydney felt her breath catch in her throat. Vaughn was such a sweet guy that she sometimes forgot how devastatingly sexy he could be. Now was one of the times that reminded her. He was wearing a white button down shirt, open at the neck, and black dress slacks. His hair was still slightly wet from the shower.  
  
"Hey," he said as his arm reached out around her waist to pull her into his room. Before she could even respond, his mouth was on hers, hungrily tasting her as he pressed her back against the door. She hadn't been expecting his kiss, and was, quite literally, left breathless. She gasped for air when his lips finally left hers. "Wow, what came over you?" she asked after she recovered.  
  
"Sorry, I just . . . you . . . an hour was too long to be away from you," he finished with a frustrated sigh. His gaze was deep and intense, and she felt her breath becoming more and more shallow as she looked into his eyes.  
  
"Are you ready to go to dinner?" she asked. She was praying he would say no.  
  
"Actually, I need a few minutes before we go," he said as he reluctantly tore himself away from her and walked over to the desk where his cellphone was. "I need to check my messages back at the office."  
  
"Aren't you on vacation? And isn't it Saturday?" she teased.  
  
"Yeah," he smiled sheepishly, "but, you know . . ." his voice trailed off as he punched the speed dial button on his phone. "Make yourself comfortable, this might take a few minutes."  
  
Sydney sighed and set her purse down on the bed. She had to admire his dedication to his job, even though she wished he'd allow himself just one night where he didn't have to think about it. She began unbuttoning the heavy winter coat she was wearing, and tossed it on the bed too. She smoothed her hands over the dress she wore, a red strapless number with a slit in the front. She had never worn it before, but she had actually thought about Vaughn when she bought it, imagining the expression on his face if he ever saw her in it. She wasn't about to share that bit of information with him, though, she thought with a smile.  
  
She sat down on the edge of the bed with her legs stretched out in front of her. Vaughn was standing near the desk with his back to her, deeply engrossed in his messages. His right arm was crossed under his left elbow as he held the phone to his ear. Sydney couldn't help but notice the way his shirt emphasized his back and shoulders. She stared for a few moments before she rose and stood behind him. She thought she would go crazy if she didn't touch him. She let her right hand trace circles of varying dimensions across his back as her left hand rested on his hip. She felt him stiffen initially at her unexpected touch, but he relaxed as she continued. He switched the phone to his right hand, as his left hand reached down to gently grab hers. He brought her hand up to his mouth, and kissed it, brushing his lips across her knuckles and then her open palm. She moved her right hand from his back to his stomach and pressed her body closer to his. Soon, her lips found the back of his neck and she softly kissed him.  
  
"Syd," he moaned softly.  
  
"Mmm, what?" she murmured.  
  
"Syd, You're driving me crazy."  
  
"Hmm, really?" she asked innocently. "I can't be driving you *that* crazy, if you're still on the phone." She could hear a voice droning on in his voicemail.  
  
He pressed the "end" button on his cellphone mid-message and tossed it onto the desk. She smiled a triumphant smile behind his back. "I haven't even begun to drive you crazy yet Vaughn," she said as she let her hands start to move across his body.  
  
"Uh, yeah, you have," he rasped as he turned around to face her. His eyes took in the sight of her in her dress, and he swallowed hard. "Sydney, my god. What are you trying to do to me?" he asked with a smile. The smile quickly faded as he pulled her into his arms again, and let his lips attack her neck and her bare shoulders. He was kissing her so hungrily that it startled her, but she silently pleaded that he wouldn't. She cocked her head to the side to give him more access to her neck, and buried her fingers in his hair. They were both getting swept away by passion until she quietly asked, "Vaughn, what about dinner?"  
  
He stopped kissing her long enough to reach over to the hotel phone on the desk. He pressed the button for the concierge. "Hi, can you give me the number for Mirabelle? Thanks." He disconnect that call and dialed the restaurant's number. "Hi, I had an 8:00 reservation for Vaughn, party of two. I'm going to have to cancel the reservation. Yes, thank you." He hung up the phone and met Sydney's questioning smile with a shrug.  
  
"Something came up," he murmured as he reached behind her to unzip her dress.  
  
*****  
  
Some time later, Sydney pressed her ear to Vaughn's chest as she laid on top of him. She could hear his heartbeat slowing down, echoing her own. "That was. . . wow," she breathed. "I knew were athletic, but . . . wow."  
  
He laughed, "You're no slouch, yourself, Syd. I think I may need medical attention tomorrow."  
  
She raised herself slightly and playfully slapped his chest. "Assumption of risk. I assume they taught you about that in law school."  
  
He brushed the hair from her face. Her eyes were sparkling and her entire face was glowing. "God, you're beautiful, do you know that?" He kissed her before she could answer. "I hope you're not too disappointed about missing dinner."  
  
"Are you kidding me?" she laughed as she rolled onto her back next to him. "Dinner was the last thing on my mind when you started kissing me. But now that you mention it, I'm starving."  
  
"You should be. You're an animal, Miss Bristow," he laughed as she hit him again. He reached over to the night stand, and picked up the hotel directory. He handed it to her. "Order whatever you like."  
  
"Gee, thanks, Vaughn. That's the least you can do after you lure me up here with false promises of going to dinner, and took advantage of me." She grinned as she sat up. "Seriously, I could eat everything on this menu right now. I'm ravenous."  
  
"Me too," he said as he rolled onto his side and wrapped an arm around her waist.  
  
"I meant for *food* Vaughn," she said with an exasperated sigh. "Do you want something? Edible? *From the menu?*" she laughingly asked as she anticipated his responses.  
  
"Damn," he shook his head, "you're good. I'll just have a burger."  
  
"A burger," she rolled her eyes. "That's a far cry from the fancy French food we would have been eating right now."  
  
"I'll live. I've eaten enough French food to last a lifetime."  
  
"Hey, over dinner, I want you to tell me all about your summers in France, okay?" she asked as she picked up the phone to call room service.  
  
*****  
  
"The vineyard sounds incredible," Sydney said with an awed expression. "I've never known anyone whose family owned a vineyard." She and Vaughn were camped out on the floor in front of the bed, having a room service picnic. She was wearing his white shirt and he was in boxers. It all felt so achingly right to her, so normal and relaxed. She couldn't bear to think that it would all be over tomorrow.  
  
"I'll take you there, as soon as . . . well, you know." He said with a sad smile. He couldn't bring himself to say the words.  
  
"Yeah, I know," she said as she grabbed a fry from his plate. "I can't wait," she smiled, "but I will. As long as it takes. Believe that."  
  
He took her hand in his. "I do believe that. Just make sure that you don't stop believing it, no matter how hard things get for you . . . or for us."  
  
"I won't," she said solemnly. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Vaughn. You're stuck with me now."  
  
"Promise me," he said intently, as he looked into her eyes.  
  
"I promise," she said as she rose and pulled him up to his feet and kissed him softly.  
  
As they spent their last night together for the foreseeable future, their hearts made dozens more promises that would remain unspoken until they could be together for good. 


	8. Chapter 8

Shortly after 9:30 on Sunday morning, Sydney rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling of Vaughn's room. She could hear him next to her, breathing softly as he slept. She could imagine the peaceful expression on his face, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. So she kept her eyes fixed to the ceiling, as if somehow, it would give her the strength she needed to get through this morning.  
  
She scolded herself for feeling this way, told herself that she knew it was coming, and that she should just suck it up. But she couldn't. In a a couple of hours, she was going to have to say goodbye to Vaughn. Of course, she would see him again soon, maybe even tomorrow after Sloane gave her a new mission. But it wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't get to touch him or kiss him or feel the warmth of his breath on her neck. Instead, things would be strictly professional. She and Vaughn were going to have to play this by the book until . . . until when exactly? That was the question that was gnawing at her in the pit of her stomach. She had assured both Vaughn and herself that she could endure the wait, but now the thought of being with him but not being able to *be* with him was causing her actual physical pain. Her stomach was tied up in knots, and she was starting to feel sick to her stomach.  
  
This is ridiculous, she thought as she blinked back tears. She could be stronger than this. She *had* to be, not so much for herself, but for Vaughn. She knew that if he knew she was feeling this way, he would blame himself for getting carried away with her this weekend. After all, he was the handler here, the one who was supposed to be responsible and put the agency before all else. But he hadn't; he had put *her* before all else. She loved him so much for that, and didn't want him to regret it. So for his sake, at least, she had to pretend that her heart wasn't breaking at the idea of leaving him today.  
  
She remained deep in thought until she felt Vaughn stir next to her. Despite her mood, she smiled at the fact that she had woken up before him for a second day in a row. She wondered if it would be that way in the future, her waking up first and getting dressed and making coffee before he even dragged himself out of bed. She could almost picture it, until reality smacked her in the face and she remembered that there wouldn't be any mornings like that any time soon-- if ever. She groaned softly. She couldn't allow herself to think that way. She'd have to tell her inner pessimist to shut up. She needed something to fight for, and there was nothing she wanted more than to wake up next to Vaughn every morning.  
  
Vaughn glanced back over his right shoulder to see if Sydney was awake yet. He saw her laying on her back, looking up at the ceiling with a deep frown of concentration on her face. He didn't have to guess what she was thinking about, especially when he heard her frustrated sigh. He rolled onto his back and placed his head next to hers on her pillow.  
  
"Hey," he said softly.  
  
"Hi."  
  
They laid silently for a while, both staring up at the ceiling lost in their own thoughts until Vaughn broke the silence.  
  
"Do you have a lot of stuff to pack?"  
  
"No, I've been living out of my suitcase. I always do, for some reason. I guess it's because my missions are so short that I never really have time to unpack. So now I never do, not even when I'm on vacation. You?"  
  
"I always unpack. I think I got that from my dad. He was such an orderly guy. I don't remember going on that many vacations with him, but when we did, he would always immediately unpack everything and put his suitcase in the closet. It used to drive my mom crazy. She always wanted to just throw the bags in the room so we could go out and do something fun."  
  
Sydney smiled. "I want to meet your mom someday."  
  
"She would love you, Syd. You two are a lot alike. She'd love how smart and feisty you are, how resilient you are. But mostly, I think she would just love you because I do."  
  
"Really? So she's liked all your girlfriends? Just because you did?" she asked teasingly.  
  
"Noooo," he said with a chuckle. "She definitely has not liked all my girlfriends. But I know that she would love you because if she took one look at my face and saw how happy you make me, she'd know -- "  
  
"Know what?" Sydney asked when he hesitated.  
  
"She would know that I'd finally found the woman I was meant to be with," he said quietly. "My mom's kind of anxious for me to settle down," he admitted sheepishly.  
  
"Really?" Sydney laughed.  
  
"Yeah. She wants grandchildren running around her house, climbing on furniture and breaking things. She's always telling me that by the time I meet someone and have kids, she'll be too old to pick them up," he laughed. "She's wicked with the guilt trips, but she would be a great grandmother."  
  
"She sounds like it." Sydney could almost imagine sitting with Vaughn and his mother while adorable dark haired, green eyed children played at their feet. That beautiful fantasy was quickly replaced with harsh thoughts of reality, however.  
  
"Vaughn, your mom would freak out when she learned the truth about me, that my mother killed you father. She would probably hate me."  
  
"Syd, what makes you think that? I know the truth and I don't hate you. She would never blame you for what your mother did, especially if she knew how crazy I was about you."  
  
"Vaughn, come on! The only reason *you* don't hate me is because we were friends before you found out. But your mom doesn't know me at all. I wouldn't blame her if she did hate me."  
  
"Sydney, my mom would never hate you. Trust me," he said firmly.  
  
Sydney sighed. She prayed he was right. She knew that Vaughn's mother was the most important person in his life, and she would want to have a good relationship with her. Suddenly she laughed.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Me. I'm already terrified that your mom won't like me, even though there's no guarantee that I'll ever even meet her. I'm getting way ahead of myself."  
  
She sighed deeply. "Our lives are profoundly screwed up."  
  
"Tell me about it," he said with a short laugh. "But at least they're not boring, right? That's got to count for something."  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
They fell back into a comfortable silence until Sydney spoke again. "I miss you already, Vaughn."  
  
"What?" he asked, with a confused smile.  
  
"In a couple of hours, we're going to say goodbye and go back home. And when we see each other again, it's not going to be the same. I just already know how much I'm going to miss this, laying in bed with you talking about everything and nothing."  
  
He reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. "Things would be a lot easier if you had caught another elevator, wouldn't they?"  
  
"Yeah, but then I wouldn't have spent this incredible weekend with you. I wouldn't know that you love me, and you wouldn't know that you're the best thing in my life." She sighed. "Leaving this place is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I don't regret anything that happened between us, Vaughn. Knowing that you love me but that we can't be together is a million times better than not knowing *how* you feel about me."  
  
"You're a liar," he said with a soft laugh.  
  
She couldn't help but laugh with him. "You know me too well. Yes, I'm trying to psyche myself up," she admitted.  
  
"Is it working?"  
  
"Not really," she sighed. "It's hard to miss what you've never had, you know? So if we hadn't had this weekend together, maybe I could have just gone on living my life, wanting you and hoping that you wanted me too. I suppose that, in some ways, that would have been easier. But at the same time, the last two days were honestly the best two days of my life. I wouldn't give those back for anything."  
  
"Neither would I," he said, bringing their intertwined hands to his lips and kissing the back of her hand. "Still, it's going to kill me to see you and not be able to touch you. I don't even want to think about how hard it's going to be when we're in the ops center together. I don't think I'm not a good enough actor to hide the way I feel about you."  
  
"Couldn't we find a way to --"  
  
"No," Vaughn said firmly.  
  
Sydney smiled, "You don't even know what I was going to say."  
  
"Yes I do. You were going to ask if we could find a way to meet each other in secret. I wish we could, Syd. I would go to the sleaziest motel in town if it meant that we could be together, but we can't. I will not take any chances with your life, Sydney. I just won't. I can't," he said, his voice husky with emotion.  
  
"Are you speaking as my handler now or my -- I don't even know what to call you," she shook her head ruefully.   
  
"I'm speaking as the man who loves you and wants to spend his life with you. I can't do that if SD-6 has you killed. Things are dangerous enough without us sneaking around L.A. trying to spend time with each other," he said with a heavy sigh. "Syd, my only job right now is to keep you safe. I'm going to do that, no matter how much self-sacrifice it requires. You have to let me do that."  
  
Sydney knew he was right, and that he meant it when he said that he would do anything to keep her safe. No one had ever been so protective of her, she thought. She suddenly bolted upright and looked down at Vaughn, surprising him with her sudden movement.  
  
"Vaughn," she said, an uneasy tone in her voice, "You have to promise me something."  
  
"What?" he asked, as he sat up to look at her. The urgent tone in her voice was starting to scare him.  
  
"You have to promise me that, no matter what happens, no matter how hard it is for us to keep our relationship professional . . ." her voice broke, "you have to promise me that you won't let anyone replace you as my handler."   
  
"Sydney, what makes you think I would ever let that happen?"  
  
"I don't know," she said, taking his hands in hers and looking down into her lap. "You might decide that it's too hard to be around me and hide your feelings. Or, knowing you, you might think that your feelings are a liability and decide that I would be better off being handled by someone who doesn't have an emotional attachment to me. I don't know, I just know that you can't leave me alone in this. I can't do this without you, Vaughn. I *need* you, I need you fighting with me."  
  
"Syd," he said firmly, moving his hand into her hair and gently tilting her head until she looked at him. He could see the tears glistening in the corner of her eyes. "Sydney, I'm not going anywhere, don't worry. I would *never* let anyone replace me as your handler, because I don't trust anyone else to protect you, not even your father. Hey," he said, his voice softer and lower, "we're in this together, until it's over. I promise."  
  
Sydney let out a sigh of relief, and leaned forward to kiss him softly on the lips. "Thank god." Knowing that they were in this together was the only thing giving her the strength to keep fighting. As long as she could be sure of that, she would fight with everything she had in her.   
  
Vaughn grinned at her, and she instinctively reached out to touch his dimples. "You were really scared weren't you?" he asked teasingly. The only time he had ever seen her look that scared was when they had been separated by that door in Taipei.  
  
"Yeah, I admit it. I was scared. But now I know that I don't have to be, so I'm fine."  
  
"Good." He glanced behind her and groaned softly. "Syd, it's after ten. We have to check out of here by noon."  
  
Sydney turned around and silently cursed the clock. Time was definitely not her friend right now, as Vaughn climbed out of the bed.  
  
"I still have to pack and take a shower," he said, yawning and stretching at the same time.   
  
"Okay, you go ahead. I'm going to go back to my room, and I'll meet you back here in a little while."  
  
"Okay," he said, bending back down to quickly kiss her. "Hurry back."  
  
"You won't even have a chance to miss me."   
  
A mischievous grin spread across Sydney's face as she watched him turn and walk into the bathroom. She waited until she heard the shower running for a few minutes, and then slipped out of the bed. She quietly walked into the bathroom, and opened the glass door to the shower, slipping in behind him. She pressed her body against his and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I was going to leave, but it occurred to me that you might need someone to wash your back," she whispered seductively in his ear.  
  
He turned around with an amused grin on his face and gently pushed her until her back was pressed against the wall of the shower. "You are incorrigible, Sydney Bristow. Do you know that?"  
  
She simply smiled as his lips found her neck. If time was of the essence, she was definitely going to make the most of it.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney folded the last of Vaughn's shirts and placed it in his suitcase as he checked the drawers to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. "Has anyone ever told you that you pack like a girl, Vaughn? You have so many clothes here," she said with a laugh.  
  
"I do *not* pack like a girl," he said indignantly. "First of all, I was a here for a whole week. Secondly, I had to pack ski clothes, and regular clothes, and --"  
  
"Vaughn, it's okay," Sydney cut him off as she sat down on the bed. "I was just messing with you."  
  
"Your favorite pastime," he said with a laugh, as he walked over and zipped his suitcase. They were interrupted by a knock at the door. "That's probably the bellman," he said.  
  
Vaughn opened the door and watched as the bellman collected his bags and Sydney's bags, which were near the door. "Do you mind going ahead with those and leaving them in the lobby?" he asked. "We'll be down in a few minutes."  
  
"No problem, sir," the bellman replied as Vaughn tipped him. "Thanks."  
  
Vaughn closed the door behind him, and walked over to Sydney, with his hands in his pockets. She tried to memorize the way he looked. Jeans, navy turtleneck, navy and red sleeveless fleece. She knew it would be a while before she saw him this way again. She probably wouldn't see him in anything other than suits for the foreseeable future. She reached out and gently tugged at the bottom of his fleece. "You're so hot," she said with a smile.  
  
He laughed as he grabbed one of her arms and pulled her up until she was standing. "Not as hot as you are," he said, resting his forehead against hers. He took a deep breath. "Syd, I don't know how to say goodbye to you."  
  
"Then don't," she murmured. "Besides, we're not really saying goodbye. Sloane will probably give me a new mission as soon as I get back to work, so we might see each other as early as tomorrow."  
  
"I know, it just won't be the same."  
  
"No," she agreed. "Things go back to being real tomorrow."  
  
"Hey," he said, pulling his head back so he could look at her. "*This* was real. Everything that we did here this weekend, all the time that we spent together, that was real. It's the *only* real thing we've done since we met each other."  
  
"You're right," she nodded. "This was real. It *is* real," she corrected herself. She gently caressed his face. "I love you, Vaughn. *Michael*," she said with a chuckle.  
  
"Hey, that's the first time you've ever called me Michael."  
  
"Yeah, don't get used to it. It doesn't exactly roll off my tongue."  
  
He laughed. "I know. It sounds weird to hear you say it, actually. Besides, I like it when you call me by my last name, especially when you whisper it in my ear the way you did last night. That was really sexy."  
  
She pushed him playfully. "Stop, before you make me blush. Hey, look at the time," she exclaimed, trying to change the subject. "We have to go."  
  
"Okay," he said, pulling her back into him, "but not before I tell you that I love you. Thanks for the best weekend of my life."  
  
"The pleasure was all mine, Vaughn. All mine." She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him like she had never kissed anyone in her entire life. His arms wrapped tighter around her, leaving no space between them at all. Their kiss became more urgent, more desperate, as if they were trying to make up for for all the kisses they would be denied in the future. When they could no longer breathe, they finally broke the kiss and simply held each other as time melted away.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney and Vaughn stood next to each other outside the hotel as he waited for his rental car to be brought around and she waited for a taxi. They had both agreed that they couldn't take the risk of riding to the airport together. Starting now, things had to go back to the way they had been, even though they knew that everything between them had changed. When, Vaughn's car was brought around, he turned to her and gave her a long, meaningful look, his eyes saying all the things that his mouth couldn't. After what seemed like forever, he softly touched her hand and said, "See you back in L.A. Have a safe trip back."  
  
"You too," she said, smiling, but trying to fight the lump in her throat. She watched as he got in the car. Right before he left, he mouthed, "I love you." She smiled and nodded. As she watched him drive away, she whispered, "I love you, too, Vaughn. More than you know."  
  
A few minutes later, as she rode to the airport, she looked out the window of the taxi and appreciated the scenery one last time. She smiled as memories of the weekend flooded her mind. She knew she would never forget skiing with Vaughn, or their sleigh ride, or making love to him. She would hold onto those memories until the time came when they could begin making new memories together. That that day would come eventually. She wouldn't rest until it did.   
  
Sydney's thoughts then turned to Sloane. She wondered how he had spent his weekend. He would *never* know how she had spent her weekend. He would never know how this weekend had changed her life. He would never know that his ultimate downfall could be traced back to this weekend.   
  
Arvin Sloane had made many mistakes in his life, but, of all of them, the biggest wasn't betraying the CIA. It wasn't getting involved in the Alliance. It wasn't even killing Emily and Danny. No, the biggest mistake Sloane had ever made was giving her three days and two nights alone with Michael Vaughn. That was all it took to refocus and redouble her energy towards destroying SD-6. Sloane would never know that Sydney's long weekend was the beginning of his end.  
  
Fin. 


End file.
